Nice to meet’cha.

ImageIt’s coming up on eight years now that I’ve been married to my husband, AKA the most amazing man I’ve ever met. We’re madly in love and I wouldn’t change a thing. Eight years ago my husband and I were married in our favorite temple in California and we’ve been happy ever since. We’d be like any other Latter-Day Saint (Mormon) couple you’ve ever met except for one little thing. I’m bi-sexual. I’m as sexually attracted to women as I am to men, and I have been since I was interested in anyone.

Who knows about it? I’ve actually never talked about it before, except with my husband and one other close friend. My parents don’t know and my family doesn’t know. You see, homosexuality and same gender attraction makes people so uncomfortable. I’ve repressed it for years and kept it incredibly private. What you might not realize is that I’m no different from anyone else, really. I found my husband and now I’m all done looking. I expect it’s much the same with anyone else. I’m not creepy. I’m not going to come on to you. I’m not going to flirt with you or make you uncomfortable just because I’m different. Why would I? Eek. Honestly, people.

So here’s my “coming out” speech, heh. Let’s ease up a little bit on the stereotypes and realize that those who have same gender attraction (sometimes known as SGA) are still average people. They’re just attracted to different people than you are. The way I see it most people are attracted to different types anyway, so it shouldn’t be a big deal. I find it very unfortunate that so many people think so negatively of people with SGA issues in the church. It’s gotten to the point that I don’t feel comfortable being honest with my own family, much less my ward. So here I go. Being brave. Putting myself out there in the hopes that I can inspire someone else to not be afraid. I hope that I can help someone feel like they aren’t alone in struggling with their feelings. The Lord is there for you. He is with you. He’s been there for me and He brought me to my husband when I prayed for His help and guidance.

I’m married and I’m “off the market” and my husband and I have a wonderfully happy marriage. He knows that we both think some of the same women who walk by are attractive. It can be fun sometimes. Big whoop. We still go home together, to church together, go to the temple together. That’s what matters to me at the end of the day. So here I am. Nice to meet you.

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9 thoughts on “Nice to meet’cha.

  1. I’ve been married for 20 years, and only recently accepted the fact that I’m bisexual. I get people telling me that I need to experiment, but that isn’t happening. I love my husband, and don’t want to physically cheat on him. It isn’t easy.

    • Nice to meet you! I can understand that, it’s hard for people to empathize sometimes the impulse to find oneself and stay faithful at the same time. It’s even hard sometimes to understand it ourselves I think!

  2. I’m so glad I found your blog! I feel like we’re very much in the use boat. Do you ever feel a lot of pain knowing that you’ll never get to experience a relationship with the same gender though? I’m fully committed to my husband and the gospel but often feel so sick knowing that I’ll never get to experience this whole other side of who I truly am. Any thoughts on that? Do you ever feel the same way?

    • I do feel pain sometimes, because there are parts of me that have to stay unexpressed and misunderstood. That’s always a hardship definitely. I try to not think about having a full relationship with someone else, though, and remember how it would feel if my husband were thinking the same thing about other women too. That’s something he helps remind me of- that we can help each other stay monogamous, and that I’m not in it alone. He’s pretty great about that- I think I’m lucky. I just have to be honest about when I’m having a hard time, which I don’t always find easy, you know? Sometimes it’s embarrassing.

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